Yay, it really is another window of opportunity for Dopers to take part in their third-favorite task

Yay, it really is another window of opportunity for Dopers to take part in their third-favorite task

Dating guidelines for nerds

Therefore let me reveal my problem: we likes me personally some timid, nerdy guys, however they won’t ever initiate a conversation with me. We have no issue using the effort (no fear, no tact, with no pity, actually), but if We make an effort to speak to them We have a tendency to get fear signals right back: stuttering, twitching, averted eyes, etc.

I am perhaps perhaps not ugly (in accordance with the good individuals when you look at the photo that is recent with good hygiene, gown feeling, and fundamental grooming practices. I am a little peaceful in that I do not invest on a regular basis giggling and speaking like the majority of girls my age (22), but I’m able to undoubtedly hold my personal in a smart discussion. I’ve no self-esteem dilemmas or daddy problems or “issues” of all kinds, actually (except with individuals whom make use of the non-word “anyways, ” but that is why i am a doper, right? ).

I have been told that i am too intimidating (I am dull) and that dudes will immediately assume that We’m taken because i am maybe perhaps maybe not ugly, but i am perhaps perhaps maybe not flirting either (WTF? ).

I am getting fed up with holding the discussion for just two until the nerdy man understands that I am maybe not planning to sprout an additional head and relaxes sufficient for me personally to make it to understand him.

Will there be some shorthand, some alert or code expression that i could provide or state to allow him understand i am not too scary, actually?

*relationship advice. It’s also possible to take part in the second-favorite passtime, which will be nitpicking my grammar and spelling, should you feel the necessity. None of the stuff that is first-favorite in, though. That is a grouped household thread.: )

You hinted towards the conclusion it sounds like you’re doing fine that you do eventually get the nerdy guys to relax, so. It simply takes longer with some individuals. I am a Nerdy Guy myself, and I also should get my spouse to tell you how–skittish–I is at very very very first. It can not be much better compared to dudes you are speaking about.

What sort of signals would you distribute? Any kind of “you” language is very effective. “Name” language–that is, mentioning the individual’s name–is better yet.

You hinted towards the conclusion which you do fundamentally have the nerdy dudes to flake out, so that it appears like you are doing fine. It simply takes longer with some individuals. I am a Nerdy Guy myself, and I also should get my partner to tell you how–skittish–I is at first. It can not be any benefit compared to the dudes you are referring to.

*sigh* i understand, but often If just I could slip a Xanax to their hill dew, ya understand?

What sort of signals can you send? Any kind of “you” language is very effective. “Name” language–that is, mentioning the individual’s name–is even better.

That is helpful advice. We attempt to distribute “not stuck-up” (because sometimes people confuse “quiet” for “snobby”), “friendly, ” and “not threatening. ” We smile (but I do not giggle), We make attention contact, and I do not interrupt them as they are making an effort to get yourself a phrase out (this can be difficult).

Wait, you love the quiet(ish) nerd type? And also you’re at OSU? If I just possessed a motor vehicle…

Feh, whom’m We joking? We’d clam up too. Girls are frightening.

Can there be some shorthand, some alert or code expression that I am able to provide or state to allow him understand I’m perhaps not that frightening, really? First of most, i simply took a review of your image, and my your ranking from the Attract-O-Meter is;

( perhaps maybe perhaps Not my typical kind, but I would have difficult time unlocking my eyeball-tracking however. )

In terms of advice (and I am in your target demographic): The best thing you can do to make a geek feel comfortable is get him to talk about his favorite subject/intellectual infatuation/doctorial thesis as you may have already inferred. When you get him started, sufficient reason for simply the barest of constant prodding and display/simulacrum of great interest he will drop the entire shyness facade and tell you exactly about The Hitchhiker’s help Guide to your Galaxy/linguistic interrelations associated with the Romance languages/the life cycle of abdominal worms. When he is run his program and it is convinced that you’re genuinely!, amazingly!, outstandingly! Thinking about him, he then’ll begin asking regarding the passions. (If he does not, he then’s most likely merely a self-absorbed bastard, and also you wouldn’t like that. You want to see through the barricade that is initial not in to the dungeon. )

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